Unit 1 - Post Write

My essay talks about violence in movies, and how that potentially transfers over to real world violence. It also talks about possibly changing the movie rating system, and how that could have implications, as well as the important role parent's have in monitoring what their children are watching, and limiting how much they watch. The primary questions I ask in this essay are whether movie violence does affect real world violence, and whether or not there is something we can do about it if it does affect real world violence.
Writing a dialogue essay differs from writing a traditional essay in a way that we, as the writers, have to put ourselves in the position of the ones writing the articles that would traditionally give us our evidence and research. I do find a dialogue essay to be easier than a traditional essay in the way that we don't have to write a thesis statement, something that I myself am not strong at, and that a dialogue essay is more enjoyable to write. It is more enjoyable to write because we can create conflict, and really have our source's opinion's stand out and give them an opportunity to defend their opinions.
I used agree, disagree, and complicate in my essay through the sources that I used: Weinstein, Tarantino, and LaSalle. There were points made that some agreed on, like Weinstein and Tarantino, but LaSalle was quick to disagree. I also used myself, the interviewer to ask questions that would cause further thought that complicated the conversation. One example would be possibly changing the film rating system we have now, to just a PG and R rating. LaSalle was all for it, but Weinstein and Tarantino, the ones that actually make the movies, did not like it at all because of the category that it would put their movies in.
A piece of constructive feedback that really, and that both piers brought up, was that my paper needed a strong direction and more evidence. They said my paper, had a good base, but was dry, and so I needed to add some strong evidence to create more conversation and complication.
I think one of the strengths my paper had was the evidence that was presented, it was in good in the way that it directed the essay, and that it provided back up for the sources statement. I do think that talking about the shooting in Aurora, Colorado and in Newtown, Connecticut was a good way for people to think about whether the violent movies caused such a terrible thing as a shooting.
One area that could be improved in my paper, was to make the sources, especially Tarantino, seem more like himself. I didn't make him sound like his strongly opinionated, rude self. That could be something that allows the reader to really know who each of these sources are, and how they interact with others.
Something that you could help with when reading/grading my paper, is to really show me where I should be adding more evidence, and how the people who disagree would respond to it, backing their statements also. When talking about the Aurora shooting, there wasn't anything I could say with evidence about how a violent movie didn't cause someone to lash out and shoot innocent people.