unit 1 post-write

My essay asks whether media with themes of violence and drug consumption perpetuates such behavior, specifically in the sub-genre of narco-corridos in Mexico.  One side argues that the music continues a cycle of violence as drug dealers are glorified in the music, and eventually emulated by the youth who listen to the music.  The other side counters, the music is more of a social commentary and artistic expression, depicting the reality of life; tragedy and poverty dotted with the excess of the narco-traficantes, or drug dealers.  The question begs an answer more complex than the argument brings, and the author arguing against the music holds strong in his stance.  The interviewer comes to the conclusion that the state of Mexico is a multi-pronged problem, with narco-corridos,serving as a symptom of a larger issue.

Writing a dialogue essay requires the author to write and argue from several viewpoints.  In this respect, it is certainly more intensive compared to a traditional essay that is typically written from a single persons viewpoint.

In my essay, the staunch opposition disagrees with the other guest as a whole holding strong to his position.  The other guests are marked by a brash artist vehemently opposed to the oppositions statements.  He counters him at every turn.  The other two guests also disagree with the opposition, but with more calculated arguments citing the historical nature and business side of the narco-corridos. 

The best advice I received was the addition of more evidence substantiating the claims by both sides.  It made for a more credible argument for both sides.

I think the emotion and varied argument were the strongest part of my essay.

I think the cohesiveness of the conclusion lacked.  The conversation was perhaps too general, and should have been narrower.

I'd like my instructor to comment on how to make the conversation more narrow and specific, while not losing out on the overall conclusion.  That is, i'd like to make it more specific, while transitioning well to a broad multi-perspective outlook on the issues surrounding my essay.